By Rick Ryan [Live Photos: Rick Ryan]

She’s the platonic ideal of a knockout blonde, but she engages everyone she meets with a big, goofy smile and a powerful handshake that pistons from her shoulder. She loves making faces, especially when having your photo taken with her, and she loves the English language, however, it’s far from her first language. Puma Swede is not the typical porn star in America. She’s just as bad off film as she is on film. One example of that is when she was at a rock concert with a guy and begged him to fuck her from behind while head-banging in the front row. When she gets horny, she wants it then and now! You’d never know it by her toned body, but she loves American junk food. She admits that she doesn’t work out enough, but I’m sure she gets enough "Sexercise" while making porn movies. She is, in fact, one very competitive person.

As I entered her dressing room, all I could think about was plugging her right then and there. Most men would do the same!

RICK: We are here in Kansas City at Bazooka Showgirls talking with Puma Swede. Well Puma, tell the people something about yourself.

PUMA: My name is Puma Swede, I’m actually Finish but I was born and raised in Sweden, so I say I’m Swedish. But when it comes to ice hockey I support the Finnish Ice hockey team. Don’t tell anybody in Sweden because they’ll all get pissed.

RICK: Now give a description of yourself.

PUMA: I’m part blonde, funny, sexy, and a sex loving gorgeous Swede. There are no bad parts of me. I don’t have any bad sides. I’m special, I know.

RICK: Now you’re 5’10" tall, right?

PUMA: Yup!

RICK: Guys, can you imagine? I won’t even go there. Now how in the world did you ever get into porn?

PUMA: What do you mean I do porn? I just dance. You are making assumptions here. I like glamour modeling, started a website and then I spread my legs and then I grab a toy and then I grab the girl and finally I grab a guy. But I haven’t got to animals yet, that is coming later on. It’s legal in Swedish; I have to go there.

RICK: Now do you prefer guys or girls?

PUMA: I have to say it is like maybe 60/40, 60 guys 40 girls. It really depends if it is really hardcore movies. I really like it.

RICK: Now you are currently living out in California. What state in the United States throughout your travels do you like the most besides California?

PUMA: I like Florida, and Miami is so much fun. I also like Texas. People there are really nice and funny. Then I love, uh, what is that horse state?

RICK: Kentucky.

PUMA: Kentucky, it was so beautiful but I didn’t have time to stop because I was driving through. I saw all those horses and all those green fields and I was like wow, I have to come back. I like New York a little bit too and Hawaii. I love Hawaii. I like Missouri too. I have only been here one day but I like Missouri. But they are not paying me to say that.

RICK: Well, earlier today you went shopping for chocolates didn’t you?

PUMA: Who told you? I got them as a gift at this amazing chocolate store and I bought a lot. There were only 3 pieces left when I get back.

RICK: You know that Swedish erotica was really hot years ago before the porn industry really got big here in America.

PUMA: Well, it’s hot again because I’m here, you know?

RICK: I know.

PUMA: I’m just pointing out the obvious here, you know?

RICK: Yes, I know. I’ve got sweat running down the back of my neck already being so close to you.

PUMA: Oh my God. I feel something on my leg. Is it your cell phone or something? Laugh.

RICK: No. Mine doesn’t ring, it spurts! Now what do you enjoy doing when you are not working?

PUMA: I did horseback riding when I was in Sweden, but I haven’t here. I really like horseback riding. I like nature a lot and animals and traveling. I go hiking; I hang out with friends mostly, you know, normal stuff. I masturbate every now and then. Nothing unusual.

RICK: Well, talking about masturbation, you know May is national masturbation month. Will you masturbate a lot in May?

PUMA: I masturbate everyday. I got this amazing thing called the magic one. I don’t travel without it; it always goes with me. Want to hear a funny story about this? I brought the magic one to Sweden and I have a converter on the power so everything works. I’m at my sister’s house and I bring it out and plug it into the converter and flames popped out of it and all the power downstairs went down. So I went downstairs, plugged it in, same thing happens, flames popped out of it. So I called my sister and I told her when I plug in this hair dryer all the power went down, what is it? She was like damn! Don’t plug in your American shit over here, it doesn’t work. I tried to plug it in when I came back to the United States, but it was still broke, so I had to buy a new one.

RICK: When it comes to dating, what kind of man do you prefer?

PUMA: I don’t date. I hate rules. I like crazy people that don’t have any rules. People that don’t say you can’t do that. There was this guy who went out drinking like crazy, but he stopped. I hate people who can’t drink anymore. Before he stopped drinking, we were drinking and we play this game truth or dare but we do the dare part. I was supposed to go kiss a girl and he was to jump on the bar and pull out his cock and do the helicopter. He is known for having the biggest cock ever. He is so drunk he jumps on the bar, pulls out his cock and does the helicopter. Then he jumps down and says to me, “Okay, let’s fuck now!” He is well known by the club owners there. That’s what drinking will do to you. (Laughing)

RICK: How many videos have you made so far?

PUMA: I don’t know, probably like around 170 something and on the Internet and stuff like that.

RICK: You do have your website right?

PUMA: www.pumaswede.com.

RICK: Now how long do you intend on working in the industry?

PUMA: I’ll probably be fucking when I’m 100, all wrinkled up like a raisin and still going strong.

RICK: What type of music do you prefer dancing to?

PUMA: Abba, I’m Swedish, so I have to say Abba. I like rock and heavy metal.

RICK: Do you have a favorite heavy metal band?

PUMA: I’m so bad with band names. I just discovered Kiss. I thought they were really weird but I didn’t know what songs they had and now I’m hooked. I like Def Leppard and I like all kinds of bands.

RICK: You mean you never heard of Gene Simmons?

PUMA: No I haven’t.

RICK: Gene Simmons would love to hear from you and show you his tongue.

PUMA: No, but I’m so bad I listen to music and I don’t know who does it. I got the Kiss CD and I’m like damn, they have some good stuff.

RICK: They do.

PUMA: And Abba too.

RICK: We have Abba.

PUMA: That could be my new thing, Puma the dancing queen. That is a good line. I’m kidding, I’m kidding.

RICK: Any last words to your fans?

PUMA: Love you all and if you come from Sweden I love you even more!

RICK: Thanks Puma for taking the time to talk with us.

PUMA: I get paid don’t I?

RICK: I’ll send the bill down to Oklahoma City.

PUMA: Thank you Rick. It was my delight to torture you.

WRITES NOTE: Right before leaving her dressing room, Puma pointed out that she’s also a sex therapist for Sweden’s Moore magazine. You can also visit her website at: www.pumaswede.com I’d like to thank the owner of Bazooka’s Showgirls, the staff, dancers, Jimmy, Botch, and Puma Swede for another great time at the club. For more information call (816) 421-1915.